Do you remember...

I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid

Tell me, princess, now when did You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes

Take you wonder by wonder

Over, sideways and under

On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us no

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

...
Lazy to copy the whole lyrics over.Anyway that's A Whole New World, Disney's Alladin soundtrack.

I remembered that Alladin was quite entertaining and cute but somehow I don't think that Princess Jasmine qualify much as those fairytale princesses.

A whole new world?Wouldn't it be romantic if a guy bring you to a whole new (NICE) world, away from this full of craps place?
Wouldn't it be even better if you have a genie that grants you wishes cos' you save his misery?Of cos' wish for his freedom then.

Alladin 2 was craps.Dun rem' if I watched the full of it or read the cartoon story but I remembered it being less nice.
Can you imagine Cinderella 2, Mermaid 2,Snow White 2 etc?
The sequel always fail to make cartoons a success. Thus' explain Sitch!It didn't even make it to the screen.
(No, I never watch Sitch 1.)

Why am I talking about cartoons?

Back to my previous post, I forgot to conclude that I have a very determined thinking developed since having brothers.

If my boy/girl and/or husband never bother to do their own share, I will personally withdraw all my savings and live in Hilton forever. (If I can even survive a week there.)

I can't stand leaving the house a hole either but I am so fedup to do their share of work. I wont mind if they bother to help up once in a while or so, but fucking no. That's it.
Why should I give a fuck?

I contemplate seriously if I should just get back that mp3 I gave my brother.Honestly I dont want it back but the thought that he didn't deserves that at all makes me think.
Maybe if he provokes me one more time, I will take back everything I gave.

A few days back, I was thinking of posting this.
(I could have separate this into 2 posts so it's easier to read but heck, I'm lazy)

A Past Noun

By saying this, it might not have make me different from a certain girlfriend of a ex-good guy friend.
I hate to call him a ex-good friend cos' he is a dear friend but again since he got attached, the drift drifted further and further as time pass.

But again I am pretty sure that I wasn't as petty as her or anything close.
I was merely overwhelmed by unspeakeable curiousity and of cos' some undeniable uncomfortable-ness.(Dunno what am I spelling)

Jason has alot of ex-girlfriends but there is only one that he was having deep feelings for that doesnt works up anyway.
And that so happened was a secondary schoolmate. I never know her even though we were in the same ECA for the first 2 years.I never care about her existence like noone cares for mine too.

When Jason told me about her from the start, I felt indifferent. But as Jason's importance grows in me, I felt more and more mindful about her.

I am curious about her, about his feelings for her and about the times they shared.
It's like she was there all along in my past and yet I only know about her existence till Jason in mine.

I did asked Jason a few times (only in our 3 over years of relationship)about her cos' I want him to tell me.
What makes her so attractive? Is she better than me et cetera.
And what made me sad was he looked so upset when I last asked about it. He just tell me not to ask anymore and don't bring the memories back.
I felt sorry yet I was sad then.

It sounds stupid and it is stupid. I don't even bother about his last ex-girlfriend yet I am mindful about a relationship that never blooms.

I guess I should explain how I am different from that certain girlfriend.
I dont dislike or literally hate her existence.
I understand.

Infact I do understand. I understand if Jason could never forget her or that feelings he used to have for her. I am not looking forward to replace that feelings.
Everyone has a past noun,one at least.

For me, I would never want to forget the ones that I really harboured deep feelings for in the past. Call it crush but it was no passing crush.
I never forget them.Hmph..only 2 lah.
If I ever see them again, I think my heart would still skip a beat or still tear.But it doesnt mean that Jason is any less special.Jason is just different.

So if Jason couldn't forget her, I won't feel angry. I can understand that.
But the more he doesnt want to talk about it, the more insecure I feel.
I wish I am the one instead. I wish for a hundred times and more that I could turn back them and meet him together with her, so I know who he would choose.
Does it matter then?
Foolishly I know it doesn't but I still cant help wishing so.

And then I become kinda jealous of her.
It wouldnt be like this if I dunno her at all.Thus I could kinda understand that girlfriend's feelings but again we are standing at different angles.I wont support her anyway. Try differentiating objective from feelings.

Till Monday when Jason came over to my house to fix the comp, we talked about her. I was shy and scared at the same time when I wanna him to tell me. So I tried hinting and hinting subtlety.
I guess he was feigning along till he finally "realised" I only wanna hear about her,not any of his ex girlfriends.

He seemed more comfortable. He even said that he don't even think what he had for her was anything deep as compared to what he has for me. We laughed along and I looked at him paying great attention. Surprisingly no pangs of jealousy whacks me when he was talking about her.
The whole conversation was comfortable. Ironically it seemed to me that that's what I want to hear.

I guess talking about this any sooner won't necessary improve or salvage anything. At this point of our relationship, I guess it onlydoes better.

I won't say that Jason would forget her. I won't want that also.I wanna be fair. If I don't want others or Jason to want me to forget someone I loved, then I shouldnt ask for the same.
Like do unto others like blah blah blah.

Nonetheless it feels alot better anyway.

=)